


It's Always Easier to Forget

by Bennie_Ryan (Amy_Winchester)



Series: The Princess of Deira- Reincarnation Fics [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, M/M, Memory Loss, Reunions, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 10:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10852449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amy_Winchester/pseuds/Bennie_Ryan
Summary: After a fight with her suicidal roommate, Merlin, Izzy tries to hide from her problems at a Renaissance Faire. She ends up being stalked by an uncomfortably familiar blonde freak in chainmail.





	It's Always Easier to Forget

**Author's Note:**

> letters taken from http://deardollophead.tumblr.com/

“Oh, for god’s sake, would you stop following me, you creepozoid!” Izzy shouted at the strange blonde man in chainmail who had been tailing her all day.

“If you could just answer my question—”

“You’re at a Renaissance Faire and it’s 2017! Now, for fuck’s sake, leave me alone!”

“I don’t understand. If it is two thousand and seventeen—”

Izzy spun around to face the man. “Look, dude. I spent my entire morning trying to convince my flatmate not to off himself tonight and failed. I came here to immerse myself in fantasy, not be stalked by some psycho, okay?”

He frowned. “Your mate is going to kill himself?”

She sunk onto a nearby bench. “For all I know, he could already be dead,” she admitted. “He wouldn’t tell me why he wanted to die. He only ever said that something was missing. He’s my only friend and I’ll never know what was bothering him because by the time I’ll get home, he’ll be gone for good.”

The man sat next to her. “I wish there was something I could do. I’m sorry.” He put his hand on her arm.

Izzy froze, eyes wide, memories flashing through her mind.

_“There’s nothing more we can do. I’m sorry, Merlin.”_

_“No....”_

_“I’m so sorry.”_

_“Arthur....”_

_Arthur._

After a few moments, she blinked and looked at him. Not with suspicion like she had been since he ran into her that morning, but with disbelief and utter joy.

“Arthur,” she breathed and threw her arms around him. “Thank the gods, Arthur.”

“Isabene?”

She suddenly jumped back and onto her feet. “Oh, gods, we have to go. We have to go _now._ ”

“What? Why?” Arthur asked.

“Do you have any idea what it’s been like?” Isabene demanded as she dragged him out of the gates. “The years we had to live without you? I tried to convince him not to do it, but he said it hurt to much.”

“Isabene, what are you talking about?”

“He’s wiped his memory Arthur,” she explained, opening the passenger side door to her car. “We’ve got to stop him.”

Arthur stared at the car. “From doing what? What is this thing?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s a car, Arthur. You sit in it and it moves, like a horseless carriage. We don’t have time for you to question me.”

He got in and Isabene got in the driver’s seat. “Does this have to do with your ‘flatmate’ who wants to die?”

Isabene looked at him. “Yes.” And with that, she tore out of the parking lot.

* * *

“Are you trying to kill me?” Arthur asked as they pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex.

“Come on, maybe if he sees you, he’ll stop.”

“Stop what? Isabene, what’s happening? Why would I be able to stop him?”

She got out the of the car and helped Arthur out as well. “He forced himself, both of us, to forget. All he knows is he’s missing something desperately, something that he doesn’t want to live without. Before, it didn’t matter. He couldn’t die while you weren’t here. I don’t know if that’s changed.”

“I don’t understand.”

Isabene didn’t respond, only dragged Arthur into the building and up to her and Merlin’s flat. She unlocked the door and threw it open. “Oh, god.”

Arthur stared at the bloody mess in the room. “What—?”

“Merlin!” Isabene shouted, rushing to the body in the middle of the very large pool of blood. “Gods, Merlin, can you hear me?”

Arthur stood in shock, staring. “No one can lose that much blood and live,” he said quietly.

She ignored him. “Merlin! Come on, wake up, you idiot!”

Arthur noticed a stack of papers on the table and picked them up. They were a bunch of letters. A few of them caught his eye.

 

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _There was a time when I thought I could never have a friend who could be such an ass. That was my mistake. We had our fun, my friend._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

 

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _In the end, you asked me to hold you. As if I could ever let you go. I’m still holding on, Arthur. Forever._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

   

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _You know, we're supposed to be two sides of the same coin. That’s how I know you’ll be back someday. Because I’m still here and I am meant to be by your side. Like I always was._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

 

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _Everything in this world has changed so much since you’ve been gone. Everything, except for me. Because that’s what you would have wanted. I’m not going to change now._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

  

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _“No man is worth your tears.” You told me that once. And it's true, because you were worth so much more._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

 

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _When I asked you for a day off, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind. You’ve been much too generous, sire._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

 

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _In my darkest hours, I would question whether Albion was worth the lives I took, the lies I told. But not you. Never you. You have always been worth it._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

 

The last few had a running theme.

   

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _Over a thousand years have passed. Some days I can’t remember Gwen’s face. Or Gaius’ voice. But I still remember the way the sunlight shone on your hair._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

 

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve been asleep for all this time. You were always impossible to wake up in the mornings. Let’s have you, lazy daisy._ ~~_Please_ _._ ~~
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

  

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _Sometimes, especially when the weather turns cold, I wish I had kept your cloak for warmth. Or maybe it's just that I wish I had something to remember you by. Though it's not like I'll ever forget._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

  

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _I only hope the reason you've been gone for so long is that you finally found the peace that we fought so hard for._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

 

The very last one tore Arthur’s heart to shreds.

 

 

> _Dear Dollophead,_
> 
> _Sometimes I don't write to you for days. Weeks. Months. Years. It's not because I forget, but there are times I wish I could. It would be less painful that way._
> 
> _Yours always,_
> 
> _Merlin_

 

And underneath it was a phrase written in a language he didn’t understand followed by the words: _Will hide memories of_ ~~_Arth_ ~~ _him._

“Merlin, damn you, open your eyes! You’ve got to be okay! He’s back now, just open your eyes. He’s standing right here.” Isabene looked up at Arthur, pleadingly. “Help.”

Arthur swallowed and put the letter back on the table. He knelt next to Merlin’s limp form. “Merlin, you’ve got to wake up, you lazy sod. That’s an order.” He didn’t move. “Merlin, _please_.”

Merlin started to breathe again. His eyes clenched tighter closed and he groaned. “I’m dreaming, don’t make me get up.”

“You arrogant little toerag!” Isabene shouted, hitting him on the arm.

“Ow!” Merlin complained, scowling at her. “Why are we abusing me?”

“You can’t just do things like that, Merlin!”

The warlock looked over at Arthur. “Aren’t you going to defend me?”

“Why?” Arthur snorted. “It sounds like you deserve it for being a toerag on top of being useless.”

“Well,” Merlin said, pushing himself into a seated position, “now I know I’m not dreaming.”

“How?”

“Dream you is generally a lot less of a prat.”

At some point during the next five minutes, Izzy left the room in a huff. As much as she loved the two men, she had better things to do than watch them snog and try to make up for years of unresolved sexual tension.

**Author's Note:**

> Izzy is the one of the reincarnations of my OC, Princess Isabene Rhian, who's story I will get around to posting in a few days


End file.
